


The Trauma

by BeStillMySlashyHeart



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-20 16:08:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18528484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeStillMySlashyHeart/pseuds/BeStillMySlashyHeart
Summary: Aliens get a power boost when they cause a death. Noah got one after he compelled Isobel to kill Rosa - he never laid a hand on Rosa and yet he got to reap the 'benefits'.Michael's attempt to help the aliens in Caulfield directly resulted in all of their deaths. A power like nothing he's ever felt is coursing through his body and along with it is rage and pain. What is he to do when he finds another Project Shepherd facility?And what is Alex to do when he realizes he may be the only person who can stop Michael from doing something he can never take back?





	The Trauma

“No.” 

 

“Alex,” Liz put out a hand to placate him but Alex just glared at it.

 

“ _ No _ .” He didn’t bother raising his voice. He didn’t need to. The room was deathly silent and Alex knew he was on his own. The rest of them had already made their decision. Alex was the lone holdout.

 

Unfortunately for them, they needed him.

 

“How could you even entertain the idea?” Alex asked as he turned to Isobel. He didn’t bother addressing Max. “You know what that would do to him.”

 

“He’s my brother. Of course I know what it would to him.” The tone of her voice and the glare she leveled at Alex spoke louder than her words - she knew Michael better than he could and he shouldn’t question her decision.  _ Fuck that _ . “But he’s going to do something he regrets and this is the only way to stop him.”

 

Alex scoffed. “Then why don’t you do it? If you think it’s such a wonderful idea?”

 

Isobel paused and glanced over at where Max sat slumped in his chair holding an increasingly bloody rag to his head. “We tried.” She admitted softly before steeling herself and turning back to Alex. “He threw Max through a window.”

 

“Good for him.”

 

“Alex!” Liz admonished.

 

“I’m not doing it.”

 

Liz stepped closer to him. “He’s going to hurt people Alex. That is his goal. How can you defend him?”

 

Alex focused on her. “He wants to tear down the buildings and the institution that incarcerated his people and experimented on them for decades. Hurting people is and never has been his goal.” His voice was hard. “And I will not be party to your bullshit plan to strip him of his powers and potentially kill him.”

 

“I modified the serum,” Liz objected. “It shouldn’t hurt him.”

 

“And how do you know that?” Alex asked. “From your extensive testing? You have no idea what your serum will do, Liz.”

 

Kyle stood up from where he’d been leaning against the wall out of the way. “Okay,” he put his hands out as if to settle them. “We need a different plan.”

 

“Thank you,” Alex couldn’t describe the relief he felt at having someone side with him. Not that he’d expected it to be Kyle, but he’d take the win.

 

“Don’t thank me Alex,” Kyle cautioned, “I agree with them. Guerin’s a loose cannon who just got a serious power boost and he is  _ angry _ . He has a target and he’s going to wipe it out. Now ideally I don’t think he’d hurt anyone but right now, I don’t think he’s going to wait until the facility is evacuated. Something has to be done to stop him before he kills innocent people. But-” he emphasized when Alex turned to him, “I don’t think Alex is the best bet.”

 

“He threw me through a window,” Max stated flatly. “You think he’s going to let you get close to him?”

 

“Not me,” Kyle denied. “But Isobel or Liz might be better.”

 

“He knows I have the serum. He won’t let me near him,” Liz objected.

 

Isobel shook her head. “I can’t-I can’t do that to him.”

 

Alex scoffed and shook his head. “You were just saying there was no other choice and now you’re saying you can’t do it?!”

 

Isobel glared at him forcefully enough that Alex almost took a step back. Instead, he stood his ground and glared right back. “Just because I think it’s the right thing to do in this situation does not mean that I am capable of hurting him like that.” She stood up and crossed to stand in front of Alex. In her shoes, she was just a fraction taller than him. “I don’t know what the hell is going on with you and Michael or why Max is so convinced that you’re the solution but don’t you ever accuse me of wanting to hurt Michael. I understand perfectly well that to him, losing his powers will be a fate worse than death. I  _ understand _ . But we need to stop him and it’s the only solution short of killing him.”

 

Silence.

 

“Okay,” Kyle said slowly. “So we’re all agreed that Guerin needs to be stopped and the serum is the way to do it-”

 

“No we’re not.” Alex interjected.

 

“Alex,” Kyle sighed. “It’s give him a serum that has a perfectly good antidote or let him kill people. I know it’s going to hurt him but he’ll be fine in the long run. You can’t honestly say you’ll just stand back and let people die when there’s a way to stop it, can you?”

 

Alex glared at him but didn’t say anything. As much as he hated it, Kyle had a point. If given the serum, Michael would only lose his powers temporarily. Liz had an antidote already ready. Still, if Alex gave it to Michael...that might be a betrayal they couldn’t come back from.

 

“As I was saying,  we’re all agreed that it should happen.” Kyle continue when Alex didn’t say anything. “Now Max is obviously a bad idea, Liz probably equally as bad though I don’t think he’d willfully hurt you,” he said to her and Alex had to agree, “which might just leave Isobel.”

 

“Alex is on board now,” Isobel objected with yet another sharp glare his way as she retook her seat and tucked her legs under her. “Max seems to think Alex is the only person Michael will let close enough to him so he goes.”

 

“Guerin is mad. He has a reason to be, I agree, because of what Project Shepherd has done. But Project Shepherd was created and run by the Manes and Valenti families for decades. Guerin has every reason to want to hurt Alex and I. I don’t think either one of us should try going near him right now.”

 

Alex heard what he was saying. For Kyle, it was probably true - Michael already hated him and this could exacerbate that. Ever since Caulfield, Michael had been different. The anger and the hatred simmered under the surface while they dealt with Noah but the second they found a second Project Shepherd facility he’d taken off to shut it down. By any means necessary. 

 

And with the recent power boost he’d gotten from all of the deaths at Caulfield, Alex didn’t doubt that he had the capability to bring it to the ground. He hoped sincerely that Michael would wait until it was evacuated but he knew there was a possibility that he wouldn’t.

 

He took a single step forward and took the serum from Liz. “I’ll go.”

 

Kyle fell silent. Alex hadn’t even realized he was still talking.

 

“Alex-”

 

Alex shook his head. “Max is right. I’m the best bet to get to Michael outside of Isobel and if she won’t do it, it has to be me.”

 

Liz and Kyle both started talking but Alex ignored them. He spun on his heel and took off out the door. There wasn’t any time to waste - Michael had at least a thirty minute head start on him.

 

____________

 

He felt the ground rumbling through the car as he neared the facility. Michael’s truck was parked outside the main gate, the driver’s door left wide open. Alex parked next to it and hurried out of it.

 

The main gate and the three doors beyond it were torn clear off their hinges. If Alex hadn’t known any better he might suspect a tornado had blown through here from the sheer damage. 

 

Two men ran past him, their arms laden with irretrievable data. Alex ignored them. 

 

The alarm was blaring and the red lights flashed as the whole building shook. Alex ignored all of that too. 

 

He thanked whatever deity wanted to listen that the Air Force always constructed their bases in the same basic format - it saved him the trouble of going searching for the command center. Instead, it took him only a matter of minutes to find the room and get inside. Once in, he took control of the system and searched the building for heat signatures. Thankfully, though the facility was technically abandoned the security measures were up to date and he found Michael’s location in seconds. 

 

Alex shoved to his feet and ran out the door as pieces of the ceiling started to fall. Michael’s location was undoubtable thanks to his higher body temp but his was far from the only heat signature Alex identified. By his quick count, there were upwards of 20 people still in the building.

 

“Guerin!” Alex started yelling as soon as he entered the section of the building Michael was in. He didn’t bother waiting until he actually found him. Part of him hoped that just the sound of his voice would be enough to knock some sense into Michael but he wasn’t counting on it.

 

He sped past a set of double doors before skidding to a halt and retracing his steps. The doors each had large windows and inside he could clearly see Michael where he stood in the middle of the room staring at a wall Alex couldn’t see.

 

“Guerin?!” He called as he pushed the door open. Michael stiffened but didn’t look at him. Alex started across the room but froze in his tracks when he saw what had caught Michael’s attention.

  
The opposite wall had been reconfigured into a large screen and it was currently playing silent footage of alien ‘interrogations’. Alex stood transfixed in horror as the ghastly scene played out in front of them. It was only when the ground literally shook beneath his feet that he remembered his purpose. 

 

Alex tore his eyes away from the screen and focused on Michael. The man still hadn’t even looked at him, his gaze frozen on the screen and seemingly ignorant of the tears that streamed down his face. Alex stood in front of him and gently cupped his face and forcibly tore Michael’s gaze away until he was looking at Alex.

 

“Guerin, you have to stop.”

 

“Are you really going to defend them Alex?” Michael bit out. He flung a hand at the screen. “After that!?”

 

“I’m not defending anyone.”

 

“Bullshit. This is your family legacy Alex!” Michael yelled at him as he pulled away. “Aren’t you so proud to be a goddamn Manes man?”

 

“Guerin-”

 

“Get out of here, Alex.” Michael’s voice was harsh. “There’s no way I’m letting this place keep standing.”

 

“There are people here.”

 

“Who cares?” Michael scoffed. Alex flinched as a section of wall came down and crashed a bunch of equipment into the floor next to him. “Every human in here was an active participant in the torture and execution of innocent people! My people, Alex! My family!”

 

His stomach leapt into his throat at the way Michael spat the word human and his hand went to his pocket. He’d brought the serum but he had hoped that he wouldn’t have to use it. He’d been hoping that he could just talk to Michael and get him to stop but Alex was starting to suspect that wasn’t going to happen.

 

Michael pointed to the doors. “Get out of here!”

 

Alex shook his head. “No.”

 

Michael rolled his eyes and let out a harsh laugh. “What? Is this you not walking away again?”

 

Alex stepped forward, trying to close the distance between them but Michael stepped away.

 

“I don’t need you to save me Alex. So just go.” Michael wasn’t yelling anymore but somehow his quiet voice carried over the blaring of the alarm.

 

“No.”

 

“Jesus Christ!” Michael yelled. “Ten years of watching you walk away and leave me in your dust and you pick  _ now _ to decide to stick around?”

 

“You don’t want me to stay for you? Fine, I’m not.” Alex shouted at him. “I can’t run away and let you kill 20 people, Guerin. I don’t care what they’ve done, I can’t let you kill them.”

 

Michael opened his mouth but Alex just shouted over him. “I’ve killed people, Guerin. Innocent people and guilty people and people in the middle. It doesn’t matter what they did when they were alive! Taking someone’s life leaves a mark. I am not the same person I was before I went to war. And I can’t let you go through that. I don’t want you to spend the rest of your life remembering this moment and regretting it, having nightmares about it. Because you will. You don’t have a malicious bone in your body and this  _ will _ haunt you.” Alex slowly closed the gap, Michael not moving away anymore. “The people in this building have done awful things and maybe they deserve your revenge. But I can’t let you be the one to give it to them. I can’t let  _ you _ do this.”

 

Alex pulled the serum out of his pocket and proffered it on his open palm between them. Michael tensed and stepped back at the sight. “Liz made a new batch of the serum.” He dropped it and stepped on it, the sound of the little vial shattering echoing in the space between them. “I won’t give it to you. I can’t. But you have to stop this Guerin. Before it’s too late.”

 

The window behind them shattered moments before the ceiling caved in overhead. Alex pulled Michael out of the way just before a cinder block shattered where his feet had been.

 

“I can’t.” Michael told him. “I can’t let them get away with it.”

 

Alex stared at him for a long moment. The shaking of the building was getting worse and he knew he had maybe a minute before the damage became unstoppable. He swallowed hard before nodding. “Ok, fine. But I’m not leaving.”

 

“Alex-”

 

“No, Michael. If you want to bring down this building you’ll have to do it with me inside it.” 

 

Michael stared at him in shock.

 

“What the fuck are you playing at, Alex?! Get out of here!”

 

Alex shook his head. “You want to kill 20 people, I’m going to be one of them.”

 

“You’d die for them?”

 

“This isn’t for them. This is for you. You’re not a killer and if putting myself in the line of fire is the only way to get that through your thick fucking skull then fine!” He wet his lips and stepped into Michael’s space. “I’m willing to bet my life that you love me more than you hate any of them.” His hands shook as he cradled Michael’s face. He wiped his thumbs across his cheeks to catch some of the tears still spilling free.

 

The shaking slowed suddenly before coming to a sudden stop. Beyond the alarm still blaring, Alex heard a few crashes as parts of the building crumbled in Michael’s wake but the structure as a whole held firm. 

 

Michael leaned heavily into Alex until Alex had to shift his hands and wrapped them around Michael’s shoulders. Michael pressed his face into Alex’s neck while Alex tried to hide his relief.

 

“I hate you.”

 

Alex closed his eyes. “Okay.”

 

“I’m dead serious.”

 

“I’m sure. But you can hate me all you want. I still won’t let you become a murderer.” He pressed a kiss into Michael’s curls. “We’ll bring down Project Shepherd, I promise. Just not like this.”

 

He let them stay there for a moment before gently pushing Michael away. The man tensed, seemingly preparing for a blow of some kind.

 

“We need to get out of here. If they catch you-”

 

Michael nodded and together they ran for the exit.

 

____

 

Michael slammed his truck door as he got out and turned to face Alex as he pulled in behind him.

 

“Go home.” He told him wearily as Alex slid out of his car.

 

Alex strongly considered ignoring him but just nodded. “I will. I promise. But I have something I wanted to say to you first.”

 

Michael sighed and braced himself on the side of his truck. He hung his head but waved Alex on.

 

“I love you,” Alex told him. Michael just shook his head and didn’t look up. “You want to hate me that’s fine, I can take it. But I love you. I will keep on loving you no matter what happens. And I will help you bring down Project Shepherd.” Alex took a deep breath. “But I won’t let you kill yourself for it. And I won’t let you destroy yourself.”

 

He closed the gap between them and cupped Michael’s cheek. Slowly, oh so slowly, Michael turned his head to look at him.

 

“They killed my mom, Alex. They should pay for that.” His voice turned hard. “I had them and you made me stop.”

 

“You’re a good man, Michael. You don’t hurt people.”

 

“You think I can’t hurt people?” Michael scoffed.

 

“No. I know you can. But I also know that you don’t want to. You’re a protector.” He raised his other hand to hold Michael steady as he tried to look away. “That day in the shed, you had the power to hurt my father. To kill him even. But you didn’t because your entire goal was to protect me. And you did by putting yourself in harm’s way rather than lashing out because that’s who you are. The man at the facility today? That wasn’t you.”

 

“It was me, Alex.”

 

“No it wasn’t. Not really.” Michael tried to tear himself away but Alex didn’t let him. “You got everything you have ever hoped for and then had to watch as you lost it for good. In return, you got a power surge like nothing you’ve ever felt before and it came at the expense of nearly 50 lives. You’re feeling guilt and rage and so much pain and you need an outlet for it and you chose Project Shepherd. I’m not saying it’s a bad outlet but you shouldn’t make irreversible decisions while you’re like this.”

 

Michael clenched his jaw. “Since when are you an expert on psychology or whatever?”

 

Alex huffed. “Since I lost a leg in combat and they made me sit through way too many goddamn hours of therapy to make sure I was handling it well. I didn’t at first. I tried to make some pretty bad decisions then but I had friends who held me back and I will never be able to thank them for it. Even if I hated them at the time. And what I went through is so totally different from what you’re dealing with, I know, but some of it’s the same. It’s trauma.”

 

He stepped in closer until he could lean his forehead against Michael’s. Amazingly, Michael let him, his own hands coming up to grasp Alex’s elbows and hold him in place.

 

“I want to help you through this, Michael. I don’t necessarily know how but I do know that I want to be there for you. For whatever it is you need.”

 

“Alex-” Michael breathed before trailing off.

 

“If you want me to go, then I will. But I want to stay.” His voice was barely a whisper but he didn’t need to shout.

 

“Stay,” Michael’s voice was almost inaudible but Alex felt it in his soul. “Please Alex. Just  _ stay _ .”

 

“Ok.”


End file.
